The S&M Rants

So you killed someone with your car or are shacked up with a 13 year old...  You need to keep this secret in the bag.  But sometimes circumstances just don't allow for that.  Especially when you're an FT.  

Lovely Guest Judge & Comedian Riel Hahn joins us to met out justice this time and help us crown the most recent "FT of the Week".  (Find Riel on Facebook, Twitter and her blog.) 

And: we tell you who you chose as last week's "FT of the Week".  Plus: a very linear blog comment... 

What's the etiquette for a romantic night at the movies? How are you supposed to comport yourself when attending a class about controlling your hostility?  Whose to know?  Not these FTs. It's impossible to figure out who has less impulse control here - but fortunately we have YOU! 

****** VOTE for your "favorite" FT from this episode! (via poll, commenting on this post, Facebook, Twitter, email etc. All contact info below.) Tell us who you think should be our "FT of the Week".  And, if possible, why you think they are deserving of that honor. We'll reveal the winner - and your input - on next week's show (Episode 33).**** 

And we have an invisible man and a painful site that needs support! 

Merry Christmas Y'all.   

Subscribe, please! And rate/review us on iTunes (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). 

Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com.  

Twitter: @rantmehard /
Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants / 
Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  / 
Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com )/ 
Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) / 
Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)  

Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants 

Because nothing brings two people closer than drama, dishonesty and FTedness!   Our esteemed Guest Judge is the fantastic comedian Jay Larson who uses his talent to crown our weekly FT winner.  He is joined by The Lurker... (Find out the identity of The Lurker by clicking here.)

And we learn how to talk dirty to a man from a wannabe Barry White.  

Buy Jay Larson's new album on iTunes or Amazon! 

And vote for your "favorite" FT(s) from this episode! (also below).

So many good options for people you can sue!  How about your kidnap victims for turning you in?  They, like, totally promised they wouldn't!  Or the parents of the suicidal man you happened to run over? They probably have some energy to spare!  It's more suey-suey FTs on this episode of "The S&M Rants".   Who's more deserving of the "FT of the Week" title?  Imagine the pain of our Guest Judges, “AAlgar” and Matt Rowbotham  from "Sarcastic Voyage" as they help us crown the winner...     

Plus: Learn the tell-tale sign that you're going to get robbed by a Craiglist date.  

And: Monica re-records the dollar value of the lawsuit in the first story ("$235,000") as she made no sense whatsoever in the original take and didn't realize it until editing. Yeah, you might just notice this correction.    

Big thanks to Brian Everidge (@pisquar) for sending us the Craigslist story and suggesting our wonderful guests.  Everyone: Be more like Brian! ;)  Email us or Twitter us with weird stuff, guest suggestions and/or feedback (contact details below).

Vote for your "favorite" FT(s) from this episode! (also below) 

Follow @aalgar and @robotmatt on Twitter. 

Subscribe, please! And rate us. Use any podcast service etc. (feed is here)  including  iTunes  - and please tell your inappropriate friends about us. Our site is now:rantmehard.com

Twitter: @rantmehard / Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants / New Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants  / Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  / Email: info @ rantmehard.com  (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) / Shane: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) / Monica: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)  

Monica: Oh, joy. iTunes just pulled our podcast due to profanity in titles and descriptions. So... I'm updating our titles, links, and descriptions. Not sure how speedily iTunes will get it back up again. We'll keep you posted. Cheers. 

Update: Shane:  There are other ways to subscribe to our podcast too. The main feed is here and you can use it to subscribe via other services such as:

• Castroller,
• Google Reader,
• gPodder,
• Miro,
• Bloglines,
• Podcast Ready,
• Podcast Pickle,
• Podfeeder,
• Juice,
• etc.

And, if you are so inclinded, you can get our podcast via e-mail notification! How awesome is that? Yes, we know you want MORE e-mail in your inbox. But, hey, we're the S&M Rants and you know you want it...

Update (December 6, 2011):  Monica:  And we're back up on iTunes ( bit.ly/rantsonitunes ).

I have to say: 1) I'm not entirely sure why a podcast that we clearly labelled "Explicit" can't have profanity in the titles and descriptions. 2) I didn't love spending most of yesterday "cleaning" up our site and links.  3) I thought "Sodomites" in one of the titles would clear fine - given that it's also a word in the Bible... But that was censored once they put it back up.  I'm not trying to be cute when I say that it'd be great to have a list of words considered profane by iTunes since everyone's evaluation on this differs.

That said, they were responsive to my emails and quick to reply.  And they got our feed evaluated and reinstated within hours of my notifying them that it was clean  (even though they noted that it might take a day or two to get it back up).  So, I'm cool with iTunes for now.  But I will certainly be promoting our feed and other services over just using iTunes.  

When you want relationship advice, all you get is the usual counsel: respect, listening, communication. Lame! Take a page from the FT handbook: Sex is never better than while under arrest and handcuffed in the back of a cop car - and the key to a long-lasting marriage is faking a hate crime! Think we can pick which of these actions are more FTed? You know we can’t! That’s why we have the awesome guys here from “Read it and Weep”, Alex Falcone and Ezra Fox to judge the brutal stupidity.  Also, a very enticing lady makes an offer you have to refuse.  Even if it kills you.

Oh Monica has a cough. You just might notice it.  

Vote for your "favorite" FT(s) from this episode! (below) 

Subscribe on iTunes (rate us!) and please tell your inappropriate friends about us. Our site is now: rantmehard.com

Twitter: @rantmehard / Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants / New Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants  / Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard!  / Email: monica@rantmehard.com / Shane: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) / Monica: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter)